It's phony goddamnit...but mysto...

"They mean it. Everything in everybody's life is...significant. And everybody is alert, watching for meanings. And the vibrations. There is no end of vibrations. But anyway, this talk just flows. Everyone is picking up on the most minute incident as if they are metaphors for life itself. Everybody's life becomes more fabulous, every minute, than the most fabulous book. It's phony goddamn it...but mysto...and after awhile it starts to infect you, like an itch, roseola.

There is also a lot about games. The straight world outside, it seems, is made up of millions of people involved, trapped in games they aren't even aware of."

"...Now I'm doing it again, ah, that amiable itch, I just extracted a metaphor, a piece of transcendental bullshit from this freaking toothbrush case."

-Tom Wolfe
Electric Koolaid Acid Test

I think I'm going to start posting awesome quotes here as a way to keep them all in one spot without *heaven forbid* overloading my Facebook info.

Diagnosis: Chronic Infomania

So, this thought-train started up earlier this afternoon when I was trying to get some serious work-stuffs done. I need to study for the GRE, get headway on three different tasks for work, and dedicate time to paintings I promised to people months ago. (And here I thought being stressed during weekends ended with receiving that ol' diploma tube in the mail. False.) But before getting started on any of these projects, I have to stop and think about how I'm going to spend my day. This requires mentally organizing tasks into functional categories: does this one require computer/internet? Can I do it at the same time as something that doesn't? Can I do it outside? How can I mix-match-multitask my way into the most efficient use of my time?

For example:
Painting (+1) while watching Java tutorial on computer(+1).
Painting requires that I stay inside at home -> Home means I don't have to wear clothes (+1) but I don't get stable internet (-1).

Making GRE flashcards (+1) while downloading abstracts of relevant experiments (+1) at Coffeegroundz (internet (=chat + email + PubMed) + being outside= +4).

Maybe it was the more-than-decent amount of coffee in my system, but for the first time in quite a while I actually started listening in on myself ticking through iterations. Making these pro/con lists of combinations isn't something you do consciously; years of practice (and probably procrastination) have made the process automatic. So I paused a minute... when did this happen? All we've ever been taught about attention and memory is that focus and critical thinking are the best ways to absorb information. So when did I start equating multitasking with productivity?

Oddly enough, I do remember the first time I thought about it. The first time I became aware of how technology has affected our ability to focus on work. It was sometime late middle school and I was doing homework on our family computer- probably writing an essay of some kind- when my mom walked in to check up on my progress. She asked how I was doing. I said fine. Then she starting laughing and asked how I could possibly be getting anything done. This caught me off guard... I was just doing work as usual. A Microsoft Word document was open in one corner of the screen with snippets of paragraphs scattered across an otherwise empty page and three or four IE windows were haphazardly sized and stacked in the remaining desktop space. The taskbar was lit up by intermittent blinks from a handful of minimized AIM windows and the physical desktop of our office workspace was littered with looseleaf notes and open binders. I cupped my hand over the base of our landline phone (I had been chatting with a friend from New York) and answered "I dunno, I just do." Which is the truth. I'd never really questioned a workflow that came so naturally...but when you see it from an observer's perspective it makes absolutely no sense.

Somewhere along the way, this ability to do-lotsa-things-at-once turned into an compulsion to do-lotsa-things-at-once. Otherwise, you get bored or feel like you're wasting time. Go ahead, try to focus. Before you know it, a thought reminds you of that other thing you're supposed to do so you look it up on Google or Wikipedia which reminds you to check that one thing on Facebook or Gmail and then you're drowning in a sea of tabs and programs and uncompleted thoughts.

We're a bunch of infomaniacs and it's sort of a problem ('cause I wasted my afternoon writing about this instead of whateverthehell else I was supposed to be doing. Meh.)

I wish I had some fun conclusive moral to this rambling. But I don't. Of course. and that's the whole point. Here, have some relevant links:

Chuck & Beans comic: Life Before Google.

BBC News says that Infomania worse than Marijuana

Other countries say ADHD is very culture-bound: at best, overdiagnosed in the US. At worst, a phenomenon we made up to describe flighty state of mind.

And of course, the kickass Currrent Show: InfoMania

Just thinking out loud.

Listening to good music in the car is the only way to prevent road rage. Turn it up, sing along and prepare to be pleasantly surprised at how much easier it is to endure stop lights, cut-offs, and old people.

I had a dream the other night that my neuroimaging lab at Baylor decided to start running memory-altering experiments a la Eternal Sunshine. My subconscious wasn't able to put together a coherent procedure, but it had something to do with birdseed and cryogenic freezing. On that note, people who assign symbolic significance to dreams make me giggle.

For the first time in almost 20 years, August is just another month. No last minute shopping for school supplies, no rambling soliloquies whining about the subjective passage of time, no anxious stomach-butterflies warning me of impending responsibility. It's just... August. Huh.

Crystal Head Cult

When I left my job at the Business School this past January, one of my Coworkers gave me a Crystal Head Skull full of vodka. Easily the best going-away gift ever. However, while I can't yet attest to the quality of the vodka (I'm waiting for the right occasion! It's too beautiful!) I do have a few things to say about the company. Like WOW DAN AKROYD HAS GONE BATSHIT INSANE.

"Connect to the message of the crystal heads here on earth- the enlightenment of human kind and the spiritual awakening which can occur in all of us and the acceptance that there is more to life than mere material reality."

Uh... what?

Go ahead, go to the website (if you dare). He's completely serious. I watched the entire introductory video waiting desperately for some sort of punchline.

"We chose Newfoundland for the purity of their land and water...We [quadruple distill the vodka] through carbon... and then triple filter it through 500 million year old crystals known as Herkamer diamonds."

Oh. my. god.

Do these people not realize that the novelty of buying liquor in a skull is enough to make this a marketable product? Are there actually customers out there that only prefer this brand because of its "purity of spirit" and ethereal connection to other planes of existence? Either this website is one huge flawless joke on pretentiousness in general or they're a just few steps away from moving to Guyana and mixing up some Koolaid, Cyanide & Vodka cocktails. Yeah, I went there. (OHHHHHH YEAAA.)

Speaking of cults, the whole POINT of this post was to bring up an awesome thought I had the other day: why does Crystal Head co. limit themselves to skulls? Animator David O'Reilly allows people to download a free version of his 3D model Walt Disney Head from his internet website. You might remember it from his remarkably adorable (/absurd) animation ?????:

????? from David OReilly on Vimeo.

I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd LOVE to do shots out of a Disney head I keep in the freezer. I mean come on, that's like a million cryogenic preservation jokes just waiting to happen. Am I right, guys? Guys?

OMGBRAINZ

THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, I GOT A JOB!

Get money, get paid, you know what I'm sayin'?

I have officially survived one week of being a Research Technician in the Computational Psychiatry Unit of the Human Neuroimaging Lab of Baylor College of Medicine (because I'm pretty sure the more prepositional phrases I tag on, the cooler I sound.) I'll be running subjects through giant supermagnets to get both structural images and time-sensitive maps of blood-flow during specific tasks. I could explain it in slightly less layman's terms, but that's really as far as my comprehension of the matter goes: these machines are ridiculously awesome and complicated and I've only scratched the surface of the iceberg that is 'working knowledge of functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging.' I know I've had lots of fun drunk conversations with my Electrical Engineering buds about how fMRI works on a more fundamental level, but for some reason, I never seem to retain much of the information from these discussions.

I can't even describe how excited I am about this position. Call it the 'honeymoon phase' if you will (but let's just say, I'd be getting A LOT more out of it if this were a honeymoon...) but so far the lab perfectly balances my need for empirical methods and interaction with people. Smash together qualitative Sociology, CogSci, and Neurobiology to find Social Neuroscience nested right in the middle. There is so much I can learn from working here, and the best part is, they're willing to teach! My goals for the end of the year (/semester) will be to operate the scanner solo, pick up some MatLab and get a better grasp on what neuro-niche I'll pursue for grad school. Last but not least... OMGBRAINZ!!! Um and also, I have hand-print access to get into certain rooms. So I'm basically a secret agent now.

Post script: Just so it's out there: If you don't know what the quote from my image macro is from, you really should catch up on your Juggalo-culture references. By watching this Insane Clown Posse vid (circa 1:50). Oh yeah, I went there.

Post-post script: I just realized I never posted my Psych animation presentation here, but it's on my folio-blog. I taught myself Flash for this digital short, so be kind.