Showing posts with label lulz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lulz. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Music Festivals, Schmusic Schmestivals

I still can't decide whether to spend my recently-earned kidney-money on Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza, or ACL. I even made up an excel document to help me quantify pros and cons, but I'm still torn...
So, as a part of my hourly routine of procrastination (wow, I'm optimistic) I decided to put together my ideal lineups for the three festivals. (PS they're all free) 

Austin City Limits



Lollapalooza

Bonnaroo

Unfortunately, I cannot take all of the credit for the awesomeness of these "wrdlz":
First saw it @thiswebsite, 
got my lastfm info all text-ed up @thiswebsite, 
and had wordle do the rest of the work.

However, I can take all of the credit for the awesomeness in my music taste. haHA!
(My lastfm overall top artist's, 6 month rolling, and this week's music chart, respectively) 

Anyhow, there's always 2010, amirite? Get on it, music fest peeps!

update: yes, I expect Jimi to be there. Somehow.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

wut up FOOLZ

Fun fact: I was never a big fan of April Fool's as a kid. I wasn't creative enough to think up pranks or prepared enough to carry them out. Usually I'd just end up lying to people- but this isn't as fun or easy as it sounds. It has to be timed perfectly if you want to yell APRILFOOLZ before they burst into tears or punch you in the face, so honestly, it's not even worth the trouble. Thankfully for people like me, when real-life is fail, there's always somewhere to turn. The Internet. Where 4pr1L f00Ls is fucking AWESOME.
So, for anyone who missed the foolery, here's a nice little compilation:


Gmail
Gmail turned 5 years old today, hooray! To celebrate, they released Autopilot an automatic message-answering service powered by their artificial intelligence bot, CADIE (Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity). Apparently, CADIE even has its own blog, so you can feel safe that it sufficiently comprehends human emotions and insight.
edit: damnit, the link is broken now, I'm out looking for a screenshot. WANT PANDAS BACK.
edit2: CADIE HAS A YOUTUBE CHANNEL!!

Google Mobil
Has created Brainsearch, which is basically a way to ctrl+f your brain, you know for when you just can't think of the right ... er... damn I lost it.

Gizmodo:
In honor of the Conficker worm, Gizmodo was taken over virus. Each post was flooded with spam-tastic images and nonsense numbers that perfectly capture the eloquence and artistic expression of typical junk mail. They continued this for the whole day and even sent out an apology message for readers that were annoyed by teh ne3w layoutz.

Lifehacker:
Since we all know how much Microsoft loves Google, Lifehacker posted a code that allows them to unite! Better Windows Live is a Greasemonkey script that reinterprets any Windows Live webpages as the Google counterpart. (Absolutely genius! Too bad I already use Google for everything...)

Team Fortress 2
The Sniper introduced a new weapon- JARATE! First seen in Sniper promo, these jars of pee (karate in a jar!) "wreak havoc on your opponent's mental state, psychological well-being and trust in the inherent goodness of his fellow man." Sweeeeet.

Xbox
Xbox is coming out with a new interactive music game Alpine Legend. One player yodels, the other plays an alphorn. WANT.

FilmDrunk
So apparently, George Clooney and your mom made a porno. Yeah, YOUR mom. (via Variety)


Youtube
To enhance the viewing experience, Youtube flipped its videos. Now people from Australia can finally understand what's going on! Surprisingly, Chemical Brothers videos still hurt your head.

The Guardian
Staying ahead in media distribution, the Guardian will stop printing newspapers and instead publish every story on it's twitter page. After all, "experts say any story can be told in 140 characters." Soon the entire archive will be translated, says journalist/tweeter Rio Palof.

Others I don't feel like writing about:
Wii fit is cute, Google Chrome in 3D, Picasa adds red eye, BMW's Magnetic Tow Technology, Macetech's Stealth CapsLocker...

If you saw some good ones I don't have: leave a comment with the link, your name, bank account number, and mother's maiden name so I can add them to the post!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Sup Dawg

One of the more strange symptoms of identity crises in college is the splintering of blogs. Or maybe that's just me. It seems whenever I stop writing for an extended period of time, I grow less and less attached to whatever style/subjects I used to write about. So of course, I have this incredible urge to open a new account, disconnect completely from my past posting and create a new identity for myself on the internet. (oh you know, back in high school I was all like philosophical and political but now I'm more like into internet jokes and music and shit, you know? like totally) Right now I'm in the mood to just type out all inane details in my life that for whatever reason feel relevant enough to document. Anyways, long story short, I'm continuing with this poor old thing. But I don't have a choice- I honestly feel incomplete without a functioning blog. So, till punctuated equilibrium of identity evolution strikes again, I'm baaaaaaaaack!

Do you love that picture/failed meme of Nic Cage, or what? Too bad I'm pretty sure it's photoshopped. The shadows are all wrong.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

lulz



For MOAR cultural insight, visit Superpoop.com

Friday, January 9, 2009

But you used to be so deliciously cynical!

I can’t believe that the film star of St. Elmo’s Fire and Less Than Zero is now acting in Lipstick Jungle. I mean, how do you go from Bret Easton Ellis adaption (albeit a shitty one) to a show that rips off Sex in the City?

For some reason I find this to be very depressing.

Goddamnit, hyperrealistic expectations.
Or John Locke. Either way.

Friday, June 27, 2008

It's meme-tastic!

If you can name the 8 meme-characters present, I will give you a cookie.
(This really only proves that you can read, but I still think it deserves a cookie.)
If you can name the origin of the 8 meme-characters present, then DING-DING-DING! YOU WIN AT ONLINE LIFE!!1 I will award at least 100 online respect points, but I'm going to have to deduct over 9000 for you being such an IRL loser. I hope you're ashamed of yourself. Go outside and fly a kite or something.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I think I am a pretty cool guy,

I read too much AND DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING

Book Review:

Sellevision does NOT get my stamp of approval. Even though Bret Easton Ellis says it's "savvy" and "very entertaining," I'm going to have to respectfully disagree. It tried too hard. It was not neither dark nor subtle enough. So maybe it succeeded in mocking a culture, it failed at being clever (wow this is oddly reminiscent of my I-hated-Juno rant.) Sorry. Anyway, it's follows the stories of a handful of shopping network television show hosts- how lives intertwine, how everyone is fucked up and how they fix it. Nothing groundbreaking. Blah.

Today we went to Claim Jumpers for dinner. I have never seen such big portions in all of my life. We need us one of them in Texas.

After that we dropped into Half Price Books, which means I'm now equipped for my plane ride home. I just have to decide between Lunar Park or Girl Interrupted. It really just depends on whether I'm in the mood for my least favorite book by my (currently) favorite author or something (& someone) that I have never read before, a haunted furby or a woman with borderline personality disorder, dark and depressing or dark and depressing. Decisions, decisions...

Sorry, I couldn't help myself:
Random: the Stranger Than Fiction soundtrack has reawakened appreciation for Spoon. Yay!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Intro... AIRPLANE!... Campus Tour... Strobe lights, Samurai Swords, Alcoholic Piñatas... and assorted asides

DAY ONE

.
So I know you've been wondering why.
Why California? Why now? Oh dear god, why has she left me for so long, WHY?!
Background info: my grandma likes to travel in the summer, and she was just lonely enough to ask me to come with her this year. Originally she wanted to go to Mexico or Spain, but unfortunately, the (people we were staying with realized that I would be coming along and) plans fell through. California was the next best choice because we have family out here: the 2nd daughter of five lives in Bakersfield and her two children, my cousins, live in Novato (near-ish Berkeley or Oakland).
But I actually left just because I hate you. Yes, you.

And this is where my photo-blog of a journey begins.
[WARNING: I'm going to list out the things I do each day as if I were some attention starved blogger addict (as if!), so for those of that you don't actually care about what I do, don't waste your time reading. Scan the titles and pictures and you'll be good to go. I tend to get obnoxiously meticulous when I document my life, which is why I don't usually make the posts public. But enough about me. Back to me.]

.
I was super excited for the plane ride since I haven't flown anywhere since I was a rising senior in high school. (Wow. Please ignore the extent to which saying that makes me sound like a spoiled brat.) I love plane rides, especially really long ones. It's a freebie break from life to just sit, chill, readabook, stare at clouds, gain two hours of life, and accept free drinks from strangers. Really, my idea of the perfect outing. Oh yea, and the best part about airplane rides is when you get off the plane you ARE VERY FAR AWAY FROM HOME. That's always pretty cool. Did I mention that airports/planes are also perfect people-watching terrain? Mostly because everyone too preoccupied wandering around trying to find where they are supposed to be to notice some passersby happen to be staring at them and jotting down detailed notes about their various facial expressions. Though I also mean it in the warm&fuzzy sense. Maybe.

Landed. Drove home. Passed the fuck out.

.
.
GOOD MORNING, California!
Started the day off by driving my older cousin to work at Hamilton Field so that I could steal his car for the day. Bought some 4.50$/gal gas and then set off for UCBerkeley, where my younger cousin is a student. I got a nice tour of the university and took some pretty brochure-worthy pictures, if I may say so myself. (This is the part where I off-handedly mention that I've decided to drop out of Rice and move to California. There are so many trees here. I am powerless to their call!) After exploring the surrounding area a bit, we went out for Thai food, (I think I ruptured my stomach. It was so worth it) and then we drove home and made dinner. Huzzah (If anything binds the family together, it's gotta be our joint obsession with food. Mmmm fooooood.)
And that was my DAY. (And that is my mango ice cream from the restaurant. It's so much more satisfying to see your food smile at you before I eat it... Take that as you will. )

.
As for my NIGHT...
I went out with my older cousin to a friend of a friend's birthday party. It was a pretty cute get-together slightly reminiscent of our first-semester-freshman-ye
ar-parties, back when alcohol abuse was a novelty. At the same time, the party seemed to be a premonition of future parties to come: a group of young adults meeting up at a friend's house to escape the drudgery of their jobs and desperately cling onto the last remnants of the "college experience" still acceptable for their age group. There were some sloppy (aka n00b) games of beer pong, a vodka-watermelon (which was DISGUSTING, by the way. I recommended next time they try oranges ), and a pirate ship piñata. This was the BEST PART. Get this- to open the piñata, the birthday boy turned on a strobe light and sliced it open with a samurai sword (I assure you, it was a real fucking sword.) It was the classiest and most responsible thing that I have ever seen (to top it off, the piñata was filled with an assortment of tiny liqueurs, condoms, and fake mustaches.) Moral of the story: people never grow up. Thank god.

(The fire pic was from grillin' dinner. Not that I needed an excuse. Fires are kickass.)

[Guilty. A lot of this post is a redux copypasta of messages I send people. This is because I'm a lazy piece of shit. And really, there's only so much you can say about what you did in a day. So anyway, to those people, if you even read this: I'm going to continue to be a lazy piece of shit and recycle messages here as the days go by. It's also because I care about the environment, okay? California does that to you.]

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Definitely 'shopped.

I hate friend-spam emails.
I'm not talking about the computer generated "SUPERS1ZE_YOUR BABYMAKER" ones (lord knows I love those...), I'm talking about the mass of forwarded mail you get from older relatives, really lonely coworkers, or friends that are actually losers. The FWD:RE:FW:: MUST READ!!!!! in the subject line is a pretty big giveaway. Usually they consist of either an obviously photoshopped image of something oMgCrAzY (bonsai kittens anyone? really?) or a heartwarming story that if you don't pass on to at least 10 people, you will never find love. Or happiness. Or that one sock you've been missing for a week. Hovering over my mom's shoulder (as I often do) and watching her go through an unending flow of friend-spam, I finally broke down and started ranting about how ridiculous and obnoxious these emails are- passing along warm&fuzzy stories or shocking images to what purpose? To make gullible old people worry even more about the evils of the world? To enlighten any one who might have needed justonemore Jesus story to finally believe? They're dumb, fake, and a waste of the reader's time and energy. I usually just delete them on the spot, and I suggested she do the same (srsly mom, trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I beat the internet. The end guy was hard.) I even decided to take it a step further, look one up, and prove they were lies.

...Unfortunately, I lose at life.
So uh, in case anyone was wondering, that basketball girl does actually exist. Oops. Now my mom thinks it's funny to say that everything she sees is "so obviously photoshopped" just to mock me. I'm living an xkcd comic, and a cosmically ironic one at that.

On the bright side, new Ratatatatatat! Huzzah!
Get ready kids- their album releases July 8. w00t.

PPS: Speaking of xkcd, who calls RULE 34 on that basketball girl, eh? Anyone? Anyone?

okimdonenow

Friday, May 23, 2008

I read it for teh lulz


Currently obsessed with: Encyclopaedia Dramatica
Some argue that ED is offensive, immature and in bad taste.
Maybe it is. But don't worry, the writers only do it for irony's sake, and there are over 9000 rules they have to follow when posting to make sure everything is valid and relevant.
On the bright side, it provides valuable insight into one of the internet's less civilized subcultures.

...moar liek valJEWble insight, amirite?


And check out this badass mash-up:

Bastard pop is glorious.