These specs will make you about 20 pieces but it's all super flexible and the ratios can be adjusted as you see fit.
1 smallish head of cauliflower
at least 1 oz of cream cheese
Splash of Rice Vinegar
Pinch of Salt
Nori Seaweed Papers
1 cucumber - julienned
1 avocado - thinly sliced
Few squirts of Sriracha
1 Package of Smoked Salmon
To make the cauliflower rice, chop up the cauliflower until it's rice-y texture (...surprise!). You can do this in a food processor, blender, cheese grater OR just chopping it really fine with a knife. Stick the shreds in a microwaveable bowl and nuke for about five minutes (or until you get a texture you like). Cauliflower releases tons of steam when it cooks, so when it's done let it sit for awhile to air it out. You want the "rice" to be moist for rolling, but you don't want it to be toooo wet. Mix in some cream cheese (to taste)-- this will help it stick together. While the mixture is sitting and cooling off, you can start chopping up the fillings!
Some good staples are cucumber and avocado to keep it fresh n' crunchy :-3 One day I'll level up and use sushi-grade raw fish, but I'm still new at these kitchensperimentation games so I figured I'd play it safe and use smoked salmon. Still delicious, lasts longer in the fridge and less risk of dying an gruesome infectious death. But you can totally add whatever your heart desires!
Pros use special bamboo mats to roll up the sushi, but I just used folded parchment paper and it worked perfectly fine. Some people just use their hands. Lay out the seaweed paper, shiny side down. Scoop out some cauli-rice and spread it out flat, leaving about an inch of seaweed free at the end farthest away from you (in the picture, I left space at both ends, like a tard.) Watch out as you spread, the seaweed paper softens as it gets wet so it can be easy to tear. Then line all of your filling in the middle and if you like it spicy, squirt a little Sriracha on top. Grab the end closest to you; fold over the middle and then roll the rest up! Slice it as thick as you like, but be careful not to rip the seaweed as you cut it. I had to test out some knives before I found one sharp enough to do clean cuts.
COMPLETE!! NOW EAT EVERYTHING!
Last but not least, nutritional specs for the curious: