Monday, January 3, 2011

It's way too late to be this locked inside ourselves

Something that has always boggled my mind is the concept of revenge. Not that I don't understand why it exists, it's probably just as much biologically hardwired as love or fear. Retaliation is a reflex, an instinct. And hey, sometimes it's justified. People can suck. We have the potential to be stupendously awful to each other. But what I don't get is how we can let vengeance completely overrun our lives, or how people can think it's an effective method for dealing with social conflicts. If movie subplots are any indication of the human condition, it's a pretty serious issue (that or I watch too much Tarantino). Maybe I should be more specific, I'm not talking war-crimes proportions, I mean day-to-day interactions with friends, significant others and coworkers. I don't think I'm alone in saying that I can hold a mad grudge. But why? Since when do grudges ever change anything? They just make you angry and bitter and that doesn't solve shit. Ever.

"Forgive and forget" is an aphorism for the lazy, life and relationships are definitely more complicated than that. Yet, time and experience have only shown me that whether or not it's right, it's the healthiest option. We all deal with getting hurt in different ways, but at least for me, I'm starting realizing that just letting go is the only way to actually move on. Holding grudges makes you sufferVengeance continues the cycle of hurt and christ, it's not like we need any more of that in the mix. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves to be happy. No exceptions.  

Whew. That's my cheesy/preachy realization of the day. Parents and elementary school teachers should be proud, it only took 20-some-odd years** for all those lessons to sink in. 

On the flipside, sometimes I wonder if this laid-back attitude is what makes people feel they can get away with hurting me in the first place. Valid question. Luckily for me, I'm armed with the delusion of perpetual optimism. So bring it on, world!

**plus a fun day in the park, plus Interpol on repeat. Recipe for maturity?

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